Tools For Success

We make the best decisions when we have the best information. When we know better, we do better. We hope to provide content that guides quality decision-making, and improves life transitions.

Dr. Gina’s Guide to a Kid-Friendly Divorce
January 1, 2018
Gina Santoro, Ph.D, N.C.S.P.

BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts

Nov 3, 2020
by Bill Eddy, Annette Burns, et al.

Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap: Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent

March 1, 2015
by John A. Moran Ph.D. (Author), Tyler Sullivan (Author), Matthew Sullivan Ph.D. (Author)

Overcoming Parent-Child Contact Problems: Family-Based Interventions for Resistance, Rejection, and Alienation 

by Abigail M. Judge (Editor), Robin M. Deutsch (Editor)

Overcoming the Alienation Crisis: 33 Coparenting Solutions 

August 12, 2020
by John A Moran Ph.D. (Author), Shawn McCall Psy.D.Esq. (Author), Matthew Sullivan Ph.D. (Author)

The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity 

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris (Narrator, Author), Simon & Schuster Audio (Publisher)

What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing 

Oprah Winfrey (Author, Narrator), Bruce D. Perry (Author, Narrator), Macmillan Audio (Publisher)

It is really easy to talk about peace, kindness and reconciliation when you are not in the midst of a war zone. When in survival mode, we fight.
Peace and reconciliation work is about preparedness, mindful intention, strategic planning, and operationalizing support.

In the United States, our families, are not just experiencing separation and divorce, they have become more and more entrenched in hostile conflict. We continue to evolve in the areas of technology, social media, science, and engineering. Despite these advances, we become more and more polarized.

I have always believed in systems and processes. They are both necessary, and at times can overcomplicate and deteriorate things. Systems and processes are key components to the implementation of any great plan or operation. And yet, many divorcing parents complain that “the system is against me!” So, what can we do differently? What system and process can address the toxic stress experienced by the real day to day conflicts kids are experiencing?

When helping a set of parents deal with what lunch box should be carried to school, as professionals we may feel fatigued, frustrated, and hopeless. A Parenting Coordinator told me of a child who was bringing two lunch boxes every day to her elementary school because her parents could not agree on having one that travels between houses. When resolving the lunchbox issue results in a child having a happy childhood, thriving in school, graduating college, and becoming a highly successful, compassionate functioning adult, we can walk away feeling like heroes!

A QDRO is the legal document which assigns a divorcing party, a portion of their former spouse’s pension, 401(k) or IRA. They are an essential part of most divorce settlements and judgments of divorce. When considering the impact of dividing a retirement accounts there are myriad issues to consider but here are ten (10) important considerations for any divorcing party to identify:


  1. Does my spouse have any retirement accounts either through their current employer or past employment
  2. What type of retirement accounts might they have, a pension? Or 401(k)?
  3. Do you have any retirement accounts to consider?
  4. If we have agreed to divide a defined contribution plan (i.e. a 401(k) account or IRA), have we agreed upon a valuation date for division?
  5. If we have agreed to divide a defined contribution plan (i.e. a 401(k) account or IRA), have we agreed to include investment experience on the amount to be divided?
  6. If we have agreed to divide a defined contribution plan (i.e. a 401(k) account or IRA), have we agreed to an allocation of costs associated with the account division?
  7. Have we considered doing an equalization of accounts in order to save on transfer fees?
  8. If we have agreed to divide a pension plan, did we discuss the survivorship benefits associated with that account?
  9. Does my divorce attorney handle the preparation of the QDRO, or will I need to hire a QDRO attorney specialist?
  10. Do I understand the process and procedures associated with completing a QDRO?